Hey, everybody, look at me! I'm a drunken clod!

By The Pennsylvania Record | Aug 30, 2017

A few decades back, a person tripping and falling would invariably glance furtively about, hoping no one had noticed. The fear of looking foolish was the biggest concern, and the puncturing of pride the only perceived injury. Never mind the minor scrapes and bruises: the person still had some dignity.

Nowadays, every pratfall represents the potential for profit – provided a target can be identified to blame. The klutz may have been drunk, distracted, or drastically uncoordinated. Still, the individual wasn’t at fault. Rather than hide the shame, the klutz flaunts it, telling the whole world what a foolish thing happened in hopes of reaping some benefit.

An open manhole, a loose balcony railing, a frayed bungee jump-cord – those are genuine hazards that could cause serious injury and justify a lawsuit. But riding a mechanical bull in a state of intoxication? That's asking for it.

Lauren Burgess-Moyer of Exton didn’t fall through a manhole or off a balcony. Nor did she snap a bungee cord. She did, however, fall off a mechanical bull after an epic night of drinking.

Now, two years later, Burgess-Moyer has filed suit in the Philadelphia County Court of Common Pleas against the Xfinity Live entertainment complex, where she took her spill, and Aramark, the beverage service company at Citizens Bank Park in South Philadelphia, claiming they over-served her alcoholic beverages and were thereby responsible for the knee injuries she allegedly sustained when she got bucked.

Burgess-Moyer drank too much at the Phillies game Aug. 1, 2015, then went to Xfinity Live and kept drinking too much, she admits. By the time she got on the bull, she was blotto – which, apparently, is everyone's fault but hers.

Instead of suing Xfinity and Aramark and drawing attention to her drunken cloddishness, Burgess-Moyer should do some self-examination – and stop drinking.

And that's no bull.

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